My Life Spirit

Blog

  • A Love Somewhere Beyond Words

    There is a woman somewhere for me,
    God will bring us together in his time.
    Love so profound that is meant to be,
    Jointly to the mountaintop we climb.

    Our kiss will make the fireworks blast,
    First time, it will be exceptionally slow.
    An affection like ours is made to last,
    No rush or dawdle but in a good flow.

    It is having a woman partner in dance,
    Slowly moving together in a warm hug.
    Our eyes locked together like a trance,
    It is as if both of us have taken a drug.

    The inhibitions fall away from us true,
    Our souls and bodies become a melt.
    Every minute with her, I will make new,
    The rest of our lives together are dwelt.

    In a place she and I will call forever happy home,
    The timeless love of mine, for her I write this poem.

  • Slow Awakening From Life

    I do not think idealistically like I once often did. Currently, I am more of an observer than a participator. I like to listen instead of talk, but I have my moments where I will spill decades of words at once. We live in a dream, and once you understand the real you become more prominent and open to the truth of what reality is.

    I am slowly coming into the awakening of my authenticity. It is more comfortable to take necessary risks even if it puts me in a vulnerable position. That is growth because if we do not attempt something that is beyond or difficult of our comfort zone, we remain smug or complacent. Mediocrity is easier than going above and beyond.

    I must sometimes listen to that inner voice of intuition and not fear making a mistake or receiving humiliation, but it becomes more of lesson for me for being wrong. We all learn more from our mistakes and we must do instead of trying or at least make the best attempt at doing. Thus, I concur that we will not know unless we try, and not give up at any point. That thousandth attempt may be the dealmaker.

    I do believe there are second chances and sometimes even three or more, depending on the circumstances. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again,” attributed to Robert the Bruce, King of Scotland in 1314. It does not hurt to try even if you fail, and believe me, I have tried and failed multiple times in my life.

    Be gentle and kind to everyone, and do not display any air of superiority over anyone. Humility is much more convincing than too much pride. Thus, pride is one of the seven deadly sins and sin is something that kind-hearted people would rather avoid.

    Therefore, listen to your gut or that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, especially regarding a decision you must make. If that hunch was wrong, do not give up on yourself and keep trusting your intuition for future occurrences.

    In conclusion, your hunches or internal perceptions will eventually be correct all the time.

  • No Man’s Land

    In this life, I am, sometimes, between heaven and hell. Metaphorically, I call it “no man’s land.” It is in a time and space of ambiguity. It feels like a plateau where I neither go forward nor backward. I become suspended between the good and bad, but it gives me a sense of complacency I do not enjoy.

    All of us go through trials and tribulations, but I know right now, I must fight all my battles alone without anyone supporting me including family and friends, but not by any fault of them. I led myself here, by my lack of commitment to one idea, person, or plan. It is a long sit in the waiting room with other people, who are going through an analogous situation to me. I notice there are people that cannot manage it as well and must have somebody by their side during the entire process.

    My independence has kept me strong, and I must suffer any pain alone right now, whether it is physical or emotional. Though, my mental toughness is steadily improving since I have been through so much psychologically in life. The dozens of shrinks I have talked with and the narcissists I have been around really did a number on me in my past. I will not be the victim anymore and not so easily manipulated by smooth talking persuasive people selling something to me like I did previously. I can see manipulative tactics everyone uses to get their way through years of experiencing and falling for them, but that has ended now since finding the truth and knowledge of how people are.

    As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “a foolish inconsistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,” and this made me more coherent with my actions since learning that concept. There is also the idea originally authored by Rita Mae Brown, a mystery novelist, who said, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” This phrase, too, is wrong with respect to quantum mechanics. In high-energy colliders physicists repeatedly collide particles the same way but get different results, thus debunking that quote.

    As time goes on, even certain theories will get disproven too and replaced with new theories proven into laws of science, physics, mathematics, nature, and in other fields.

    In conclusion, even though I am in somewhat of a spiritual purging state, I continue to have the ability to learn.

  • Transparency of Life and Death

    It is okay to experience oblivion, which for me has become a place of rest. It is a void without existence where I become present. It empties my mind of all the worldly trash and harsh energies constantly attacking me. I see everyone transparently now, and I know first-responders and those, who work in the medical field that see dozens or hundreds of injuries and death must become detached from any patient young or old. Over time, they lose empathy, and for me that is not something I want or would really desire.

    Though, as a caregiver I have had patients I took care of and built a relationship with, and because of my nature if they died, it is like losing a family member or someone I deeply love, which would hurt me emotionally. I have not been with anyone when they died nor do I want to, but I have heard it can be a valuable experience seeing them go to the other side with a smile on their face, which is how we would wish everyone could die. The sadness comes from losing that person, but for them, it is passing into eternal life, which makes all life a continuous journey.

    This earth is not our final home, but it could be just in the same place but another dimension beyond our current perception. It may be that we are so blind to this dream we are living in and will not understand until we fully awaken, which I hope happens for me in this lifetime to give me deeper connection to everything, everyone, and everyplace that was, is, and will be. Mindfulness or awareness is bringing me closer to knowing what heaven is like, because the hell I have already experienced on this earth is of man and a place of chaos I have been several times, even if in my mind.

    Never discount the reality of what you do not believe nor do not depend entirely on what you do believe. Over the ages, we have been in a program, like that of a computer or a hierarchical network that determines we are here for a reason, and nothing happens by chance or accident. Determinism is believing both good and bad happen for a reason, which for me, would be ignorant to believe. There is one deity for most people and even a belief of what we know as heaven or enlightenment with having a deity.

    Certain religions make you have a belief that manipulated you over time, but still we follow the crowd and the people we grew up with and believe the same way. We do not question what we learned is truth, which may and is not true at all. Yet you cannot oppose the current authorities. Being of independent thinking and questioning everything is not something we should do, but I do and even question my own thinking sometimes.

    We learn not to question our elders, and their teachings or stories passed down through the generations.
    In all respects, each of us has a unique story to tell about our life and experiences.